It’s coming up to a month and a half after the surgery date. I’m still grateful every day for the many ways (small and big) that our lives have changed for the better. I still marvel at how he was ready to go home two days after spinal surgery, and apart from a slight scare very very early the Sunday morning after surgery when the wound started seeping, things have been pretty positive.
One of the weirdest things to get used to is the feeling of ‘empty space’ in my life. For about nine months, life was all about waiting for the surgery, and before that dealing with the increasing difficulties that were leading up to the decision to go see a specialist in the first place. I know that he is still on sick leave, and there will be more check-ups and appointments, but the prep for the big scary thing ended on 31 July. I want to fill the space with positive things, and in small ways, I have started: I’m trying to make sure I spend more time with one of my oldest and dearest friends in Lancaster – one of the first people I really got to know after I moved here. I’m also making an effort to write every day, and though I don’t manage it all the time, it’s a goal I would like to meet more often than not.
I’m also looking at other ways of being creative, like photo opportunities and projects, and reviewing where I would like to go when it comes to upgrading and renewing my equipment – my SLR camera is at least ten years old, and it was the old model when I bought it, so it’s more than a little long in the tooth and not performing as well as I would like, even compared to my little Powershot.
It’s a bit slow going, the stress of the waiting for surgery and associated things made me a little crispy at the edges, I’m still getting tired easily. Getting back to exercising would help, and I really want to get on with that too.
Short term, I’m wanting to do more reading, writing and generally be more creative. Medium and long term are still up in the air, I want to make some sort of plans but I don’t quite know what’s reasonable and possible to do yet. Maybe that will be clearer over time?